Benefit of the Doubt
by fadedelegance
Summary: Post-"Challenged". Mike is hurt by a remark Connie made. Can she get him to forgive her? T for language.


**Disclaimer****: Dick Wolf and NBC own "Law and Order". I don't. **

**A/N****: As you guys all know, I watch "L+O" reruns on TNT every week. Well, I'd never seen "Challenged" before—the episode about the Devon family with the four middle-aged sons, one of whom is mentally handicapped and one of whom murdered another because he didn't agree with welcoming the mentally handicapped son back into the family. Remember how the father talked the mentally handicapped son Pete into committing perjury by saying he murdered his brother Rick, when his brother Ted actually did it? And how Mike came up with a strategy to get the father to admit he'd coached Pete into lying on the stand by having Pete arrested for his brother's murder? **

**Well, when he, Jack, and Connie were discussing their options, and Mike voiced that idea, Connie said, "What kind of pathological lawyer would do that?" because she didn't know Mike had a plan. I was thinking, "What if Mike was actually pretty hurt by that thoughtless remark of Connie's?" So this fic is based off that line and off that thought I had.**

**For Dick Wolf, Linus, Alana, and you who are reading this. ~Abby **

**Benefit of the Doubt**

After Mike and Connie left the courthouse after hearing the guilty verdict for Ted Devon, Mike had been dead silent during the ride back to One Hogan Place.

Just yesterday, he'd come up with a plan to get Mr. Devon to slip up and admit he'd coached poor, mentally handicapped Pete—his own son whom he'd brushed aside and had sent away to a group home like it was nothing, whom he'd basically thrown out like a piece of garbage—into lying on the stand by saying his previous testimony was a lie—that _he'd_ actually killed his brother Rick.

Mike had suggested that they have Pete arrested instead.

It was only a ploy, a sham. It was setting a trap for the real guilty party. Mike would _never_ bully the disenfranchised. Hell, he rooted for them it was nobody's business. He'd made a career out of fighting for the underdog. He would never seriously throw one of them under the bus. How could he? That went against everything he believed in.

Surely Jack and Connie would've known that about him? Surely they would've known he was better than that?

Mike had believed they would.

But then when he'd brought up his idea, Jack had said, "And I thought I was supposed to be the hard-ass" before leaving Mike's office.

That had hurt.

But it was what had happened _before_ that Mike couldn't stop thinking about.

When he'd made the suggestion, Connie had said, "What kind of pathological lawyer would do that?"

Pretending like that hadn't broken his heart, Mike had played it cool. He'd raised his hand and said, "Me" and had then asked Connie to have Lupo and Bernard arrest Pete.

"_What kind of pathological lawyer would do that?"_

The words kept playing in Mike's head like a song on repeat.

Pathological…

That's what Connie thought of him?

But he let her see his soft side all the time. She was the only person for whom he truly let down his guard.

Didn't that mean anything?

He'd let her in to get to know him. He'd let her see past his hard-ass prosecutor exterior.

For God's sake, that was just who he was as an attorney, and an attorney was only part of who he was! Hell, a lot of the time, he was just putting on a front—like he'd just done with the Devon case! It was all just a part of the game!

Couldn't she see that?

Couldn't she see that there was so much more to him than the-EADA-who-fights-rough?

Mike would've thought she knew him better than that.

Maybe she didn't.

Could he have possibly been wrong about her?

He didn't want to be, especially since he'd been starting to wonder if he was in love with her.

But maybe that was just it—maybe he'd put her on a pedestal. Love _was _blind, after all…

Mike currently sat in his office, working on the paperwork for the Devon sentencing.

His office door was closed. He usually left it open for Connie.

Pathological…

_Thanks, Connie,_ he thought, very hurt. _It feels great to know how little you think of me…_

About fifteen minutes later, there came a knock on his door.

"Come in!" he called.

He felt a pang of sadness as Connie entered his office.

He immediately re-immersed himself in his work, putting his guard up.

"Hey," Connie said warmly. "I'm about to order a pizza, do you want me to get half sausage for you?"

"No, thanks, I'll just get something later," he said, not looking up.

"All right," Connie said, getting dismissive vibes from him.

She paused and watched him for a moment.

Then—

"Lupo and Bernard and I are going out for drinks around seven, would you like to come?" she asked.

"I need to get this done," Mike said, still focusing on the paperwork.

_Okay, there is definitely something wrong, _Connie thought.

An uncomfortable silence came, as Mike continued to brush her off. She just stood there and watched him work some more, not sure what she should say—if anything.

"Well…the offer still stands, should you happen to change your mind…" she finally said.

"No, thanks," Mike said.

An awkward pause followed.

_Why are you pushing me away?_ Connie thought sadly.

She hesitated.

Then—

"Mike, what is it?" she asked.

"Still think I'm pathological?" Mike said, still not looking up at her.

Hearing him say that broke Connie's heart.

"No…" she said sadly.

"It was just a set-up, Connie. It was all a set-up. You really think I'd let a mentally handicapped man, who was cast out by his own parents, go to prison?" Mike said, finally looking up at her. "You really think I'd let that happen?"

Connie half wished he would just be angry and go off on her because the earnest and very hurt way in which he was currently speaking to her was almost more than she could stand.

But she knew he would never raise his voice at her—nor would she ever do so to him.

"That's me: Mike the hard-ass. Mike who shows no mercy. Mike the callous, cold, unfeeling bastard who has no sense of humanity. Mike the heartless. Mike the pathological…No one in this office ever gives me the benefit of the doubt," he said softly, truly very hurt. "They always assume the worst…But it's all right. I'm used to it…"

"No, you're not," Connie said softly, hurting for him. "If you were, you wouldn't be this hurt…And you're this hurt because of me…"

"Pathological, Connie? That's really what you think of me?" Mike asked softly in disbelief.

"No—God, no," Connie said tenderly.

She sat down in the chair across from his desk.

"It was just the heat of the moment," she said sadly. "I was feeling terrible for Pete and furious that his brother was about to get away with murder…And that's just an explanation, not an excuse. There _is_ no excuse…"

She then reached out and gently rested her hand on top of his.

"As soon as the words came out, I regretted them," she said, looking him directly in the eyes. "That was a terrible thing to say, I know it. Mike, I am so sorry. I'm _so_ sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I would never hurt you on purpose. You're right, I should know you better. I should've known that was a set-up. I clearly wasn't thinking when I said that. I wish I hadn't said it at all. I wish I hadn't hurt you…Yes, you can get carried away at times, but you're human. We all have our moments. You're not pathological, Mike—_at all_. You're just the opposite—especially around me…You're a good man. You truly are. And that is honestly what I believe…Please forgive me."

Mike knew she was being genuine and sincere. The look in her eyes said it all. How could he have doubted how wonderful a person she was?

Connie felt a rush when he gently placed his other hand on top of hers.

"I forgive you," he said.

Connie smiled gratefully.


End file.
